22 oct 2011

Im shrinking in size...im loosing wght... I looked small...tats wat mostly ard me said..evn my mom n dad.. I myself realised tat... It just tat my appetite just isnt constant... N furthermore wit thgs running thru my mind...no matter hw much i eat it still wont help... Im kinda worried too...i smoke more den eating...wen im stressed i dnt eat alot bt i smoke alot...wen im stressed my appetite goes dwn bt e urge to smoke grew more... Only god noes wats running thru my mind evryday...tis is wat its called dugaan... I have to accept it n go thru it...eventho its such a pain to my head heart...i still hav to goes thru it...mayb its just wat i deserved...a retribution for all e mistakes ive done...for being naive n ignorance previously... Pple says evry problms has e solutions... N wen one problm solves e other comes..its nvrending.. Wen im alone...or doing nuttin...my mind will starts to run..all e problms will just appear in my head..all e worries... Looking in e outside im still looking good..bt in e inside its all mess up..n guess e mess up is showing its effect on e outside too...my body is shrinking.. My mind gets tired easily..n wen e mind starts to get tired..e whole body starts to get tired too... One thg im glad having despite my messed up self...is a great boyfren... Well...he has to goes thru my shit together wit me...i feel sorry...really sorry..bt wat cn i do wen my problems came runnin bck to me... Hw i really wish wen i woke up its all jus a bad dream...haish Nana