3 oct 2011

Heylo blog..im back again... This time im feeling rather down. Not sure why my mood is goin down since the start of the day. Didnt go work today anyway. Bby is having his reservist for 3 weeks. E nex time i'll b mittin him is sat on my bdae eve. Its a loong wait for me. Haish. Anyway, loads of thgs been running on my mind these days or should i say every single day. It seems like it wont stop. Money work house etc. Haish... Life hasnt been totally smooth And easy. Money has always been e issue in my life... Additional to e applying house, ngagement....money is a major issue. Now work.. Ive been holding on to this job for 1 yr plus already...first offer of full time i reject...2nd offer i accept bt head count was freeze..guess ders a reason for it..thank god anyway..coz i came to realised i hate e job actually. N seeing one after another of ur colleagus leaving isnt a veeryyy gd impression at all. Ure e only one surviving n keep on askin to urself when am i gonna giv up. Bein a part time already feels e pressure sumhw..eventho ure nt supposed to hav targets bt den to avoid frm feeling bad wen ur office didnt hit e target, u hav to help. N wit e fact tat i hate sales n target its kinda pressurising. With me being a part time doesnt feels like one. I have to werk like 5 1/2 day. Including sat . Normal werkin hrs like e FT. No leaves no benefits. N targets targets targets. Sumhow i undrstand why loads of my colleages actually leave...n why loads of the staff leaves... Im seriouslly waiting for my time. Haish....evryday....my mind just cnt stop worrying...thinking....no one noes..no one will coz no one cn read my mind... Loads of pple notice i lost wght...well i noe..i notice it myself...bt nobody noes y... No matter hw much i eat...e worries n e non stop tinking just wud eventually pressurize me in silent.... At times i try to calm myself down and distract myself frm all those thinkings n worries..bt at e end of the day wen im alone or sitting dwn quite...i will start thinkin n worrying again.. -__- Hw i wish life were like those time wen u were just tooo young to b bothered abt anythg in life... Nana